Onanist and punish

Together these two songs form the beginning of the message from Ethel:

“
There I found me in a long, long wood
Astray, midway of mortal life
Witness to such agony
But there, before the grace of God go I
Only God knows
Only God would believe
That I was an angel
But the made me leave
“

In the middle of her life she witnessed the agony of this world.
We know that she dies at the hands of Isaiah, seemingly she becomes an angel but is eventually made to leave.